South African TV programming

If there was more than thirty seconds of programmes worth watching on SABC TV 1, 2, 3  or ETV I would be pleased to pay the wretched TV licence.

Tonight's offering of 40 year old British programme called "Mind your Language" has been shown so often that I think the old VCR tape has stretched beyond its capacity.

"Mind Your language" was quite funny forty years ago but viewers have reached a point where they can chant almost verbatim the dialogue used.

I have made my new LCD screen into a monitor for my computer and removed the CRT tube from my old TV which died and replaced it with a fish tank.  Fish are just more interesting than TV and at least they are pretty and do different things which the programmes on SA TV don't

Found these instructions:

How to Convert an Old TV Into a Fish Tank

Another option would be to hang a paper mobile in the old TV or make a kaleidoscope out of old tin foil and wrapping paper.

OR make a cat or dog bed out of the case.  

Personally, I would love to take it and dump irt on SABC's doorstep in Auckland Park and tell them what they can do with it.

KARDASHIANS AND THE MANDELAS

Living in South Africa reminds me of some awful reality show like the American "Keeping up with the Kardashians"

Who these people are I have absolutely no idea.  I was at a friend's house and she happened to flick the TV onto the programme.  I tried to listen to the whiney voice but could not bear it for more than a few seconds.  I asked my friend to switch to another programme.

I don't want to keep up with them.  I wouldn't want to sink so low.  They remind of trailer trash.

They, like the Mandela family think that money makes up for class.  They trade on their parent's name.

MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS.  If you weren't born with it you can't cultivate it.

nokia phones

Nokia phones used to be fantastic.

In fact I have still got a Nokia 1610 lying around which still functions although the battery is dead and it only works when plugged into a power source. It doesn't do internet, take photos, mms, whatever.  BUT it does work with minimal pain and suffering.  I also have a 3200 which also works with minimal pain.  The ringer speaker is dead.

My new phone, a C3, is 2 years old is dying.  Soon it is going to either get a flying lesson with the aid of a baseball bat or possibly a coffin of resin and become a clock.  Try and open a message and it says "Opening Message" for twenty minutes, then the screen blanks out and you press the middle key and  nothing happens.  Then you press the back key and nothing happens.  Then you press the power button and it reverts to the main menu.  How the f**** h*** are you supposed to retrieve a message?

I cannot believe that Nokia, which was one of the best manufacturers of cellphones could have made such a piece of crap.  Now their new phones are owned by the other bane of my life - Microsoft.  So it is goodbye to Nokia from me.

The only good thing about this C3 phone is that it has a relatively good radio in it.  So it has been promoted to car radio.  Only good thing for it.

It is being replaced with a Samsung Pocket, which hopefully will survive longer than 2 years. The Samsung pocket has worked quite well for the last two months, although the factory settings required to log on to everything that it could and it blew R100 in a day.  SO its little extras got switched off.  I will log onto the internet, GPS, whatever when I want to and not when it wants to. Thank you very much.

Gerrys hostile

Nobody stays there because he is hostile

Gerrys Hostile Achnashellach

10 Style Rules Your Grandma Was Right About

With reference to Marie Claire

Dress to impress on every occasion. These days, dress code is something people take very lightly: but in your grandmas day and age, dressing up was taken very seriously. "The priorities were different back then,” explains Mad Men’s costume director, Janie Bryant. “I do love that about the period when people did dress for occasions. You'd dress for the theater, the grocery store, for dinner," she says. "The priority today is more about comfort than it is glamour."

Fashion happens four times a year, style is inherent: Although fashion today is largely driven by trends, your grandmas era was more about timeless style. “You have to interpret what’s hot to make it work on yourself,” says Rachel Zoe, celebrity stylist. “If tweed suits are in but you’re not a suit kind of girl, wear the jacket with jeans and a pair of Converses. The idea is that you wear it the way that becomes the most you.”

Red lipstick will brighten any outfit It’s amazing how a slick of red lipstick can instantly lift your whole look. You’ll notice that most grandmas never leave the house without it. “It's an elemental, visceral colour – a reminder of what's inside us," explains Dick Page, celebrity make-up artist and creative director for Shiseido, of this timeless trend. "I think red lips are symbolic of female strength."

Wear the right underwear for your dress. Underwear is probably the last thing you think about when getting dressed right? But, according to Bryant, it should be one of your top priorities. "I think that, for a woman, back in the 60s, it was a requirement that you wore your foundations. A lot of ladies wouldn’t think about going out of their house without their girdles," Bryant says.

Look in the mirror and take one accessory off before you leave the house. While we’ll happily shun the rule that your shoes and bags must match at all times, your grandma makes a good point when she says to keep accessories to a minimum. Overload on earrings, bracelets and a necklace and you’ll end up looking more like a Christmas tree. Instead, choose key pieces, such as a cocktail ring or a string of pearls, to dress up your outfit.

The tailor is your friend. How often have you bought something straight off the rack and thought, “this would be great, if only it was a cm shorter/longer/more to the right” and then never bothered to do it? The tiniest amount of tailoring can make a huge difference – just ask your grandma, who would have had most of her wardrobe specially fitted.

Details matter. Gone are the days when you could wander into a store solely dedicated to the art of the button. "During that period, there were definitely attention to detail with the care, right down to how a buttonhole was made," says Bryant.

Hats aren’t just for the races. While you might feel ridiculous wearing a hat anywhere but the racetrack, it was once a staple in your grandmas wardrobe. Take her cue and try it out for yourself: you’ll be amazed at how it can instantly dress up any outfit.

Silhouette is key. The female shape was celebrated in your grandmas era: the hourglass was the silhouette du’jour. Translate this trend to today by looking for nipped in waists and A-line skirts.

Your hair is as important as your outfit: We bet you’ve never seen a picture of your grandma with a topknot. That’s because hair was considered the crowning touch to an outfit: make it yours by running a brush through it every now and again. Also, dry shampoo is your friend.

Life is a bitch and then there are the beggars

Living in South Africa is wonderful.

Only in South Africa can you be insulted by beggars at the traffic lights.

If these beggars actually did something constructive I might give them something.  But all they do is stand there and say "Gimme."

Most of them make more money than I do  and I work hard for the little I do make.

I cannot find a job (according to prospective employers) because:

a) I am white
b) I am old (at 58)
c) I am female
d)  and one little employment "consultant" had the cheek to tell me I am too fat.

So I work doing deliveries and taxiing people around. I also teach people to use computers.

I am now so deep in debt that I am on the verge of being evicted.

MUSIC AND NARRATIVE

What is it with documentary producers?

They insist on adding crappy musuk to the narrative of a documentary thereby overcrowding the narrative with useless duff duff crap.

I don't have a hearing problem, merely that I have difficulty excluding the musuk from the narrative.

It detracts from the documentary not enhance it.  Most times when I hear the musuk I switch the sound off and watch the documentary sans sound.